Is anyone else here depressed... I feel like I'm getting no where in life. And I've screwed up so much...
I feel like I'm stuck living life until I make it... I feel so depressed... like I'm getting no where. I don't know how to enjoy things. The moment I told myself things are bad, they kept turning bad, and bad, and bad... Way more horribly until I couldn't take it anymore... Things kept getting worse, worse than the way they were before, with no one able to help me get through it, without a way for me to stop or enjoy life at all... There was no one there, and I started drinking really bad things for me, not alcohol, but things that were really bad for me, like caffeine... to make it all seem better... And they never got better, and I always wanted it to be better, but I couldn't just tell myself I had a problem... but I did. I did, and I couldn't tell myself that for some reason... I'm not happy with either of my jobs, I'm not happy with how my relationship is going or how my boyfriend doesn't have a job... It just all... stinks. I wish I could go back and do this all over again, but I can't... I'm stuck with the way things turned out... And I don't know how they're going to turn out anymore, because I feel like I have nothing, and everything turned darker... I just want to be able to make peace and be able to be happy again, do better, and be the person that I've always loved to be, but I'm just here, stuck, depressed, and I need so much help enjoying life again. I just feel like I'm not doing good enough... I don't know how to stay focused... I feel like such a failure.
You ever think about sitting down in front of a waterfall and just staring at it for a while? You might want to consider bringing yourself back to the more Earthly aspects of life... heal, center and ground yourself.