There is a member of the Onision Discord who I have played tons of League of Legends games with over the years... like 4 years? And they asked me if I was entertained doing the videos I've done as of late. The answer to that question, I quickly realized was: No.
This realization made me think of what type of content I do enjoy making, and the conclusion was easy, I enjoy making music and comedy sketches, just like the origin of Onision.
I only started the OnisionSpeaks channel to separate my dramatic side from my comedy, so it wouldn't step on the toes of the positive/awesome vibes of the Onision channel. However, due to the audio books I've been listening to, and due to the major changes, I've been making in my own life to make myself an excellent person, I've come to realization I should not be making videos or podcasts (despite many requesting it) because quite frankly, those aren't fun for me and seem to provoke too much argument from others, which I'm just not interested in partaking in.
Ask yourself this, would you like to spend your time trying to fix other people, or just fix yourself and be happy?
We can play Jesus, act like we're here to save the world, but we're big silly gooses for taking on that venture because guess what? A lot of folks will thank you today and curse you tomorrow. I've seen it happen countless times and as the stones pelt me from people who formerly stated they were grateful for my help and effort; I can't help but feel the time of being a martyr is over.
In the new series Obi-Wan, there is a Jedi who demands that Ken helps him essentially save the galaxy with him. Obi refuses, and the bleeding heart winds up dead. This is a constant theme in reality and in fiction. You ever hear the phrase "Nice guys finish last"? How about "Misery loves company?" Well guess what, you can't save anyone, they can only save themselves in most cases, so why try?
We all need to live to make the best of our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Being a Wanna-Be-hero is a futile and stress-riddled endeavor. Think of this reality, what do a lot of people say when they go through horrible things, that they should not be happy about, say years down the line? "I'm glad it happened because I learned this that and such!" Sometimes helping people prevents them from learning critical lessons that would resonate with them more had you not went and played God.
I'm not Homelander, I'm not Superman or anything in between so it's time to take the heart that's been sitting on my sleeve and put it back in my chest. If you want to lose, try to be a hero. If you want to win? Try to win.
I'm going to make comedy and songs for my universe, my world, my loved ones and myself. If people love that, wonderful, but I don't want it to follow trends or seek attention in such a social-puppet-like manner, I just want my drive to be based on whatever I'm feeling at the time, and if that means an analytics failure, ok. I'll be a plumber who actually knows how to pull up his pants. No big deal :)
Music and laughter can be a job, but why can't it be a hobby? Why is the end goal just money if you can just do it for free on the side? I need to live for me and mine, or my grave will be around 60. You can't please the world if you're too busy being unhappy.
You live your way, I'll live mine, let's make something real and beautiful, and seriously, fluck all this podcast noise, ughhhh. Go listen to Joe Rogan if you want a guy without expertise to talk about things he should not... lol. Maybe I'll do an audio book, but seriously, podcasts? "Did you hear about what so and so did? This is my opinion on such-and-such." Hahaha... I'd rather just play video games and eat chips.
Thanks to the Discord member who asked me that question... now I know what I should be doing.